I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
