So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
