i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
