PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Randomize
