I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
