Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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