If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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