I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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