Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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