I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
