you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
