Im at strip club and am horny
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
