I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
