it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
