if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
