Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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