Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Randomize
