I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
