If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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