its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
