You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
