U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize
