I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
