So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
