Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
