like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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