chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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