She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
