Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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