if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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