Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
