Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
