They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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