8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Did I show you my penis last night?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize