i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
