i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
