so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
