You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
