why didn't you poke me back
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
