please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
