I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
