I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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