i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
