Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
