forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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