I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
