The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
