haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
