you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
