Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
