Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
