She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
jump out the window naked night went bad
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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