She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
