I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
