Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize