Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
