I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
In America we eat man semen.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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