I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
