Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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