idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
