Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
And then my night got REAL pukey
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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