life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize