i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize