the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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