butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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